Friday, June 26, 2009

following a path without knowing where it's going

I feel like I have been too guarded in my blog posts lately. It's time to be real again because for me it is therapeutic. And I never want to be something I am not in this space.

So you remember a while back I had started going to a flower shop to gain experience in hopes that they would eventually hire me. I felt like I was catching on really fast and I enjoyed going there so very much! I was learning new things and I would barely notice the time going by. I have become skilled in making wedding boutonnieres, corsages, and even bouquets. In such a way that I feel like if I was to get married again I would do my own flowers. The arrangement I had set up with the owner, was that I would keep coming in and training until she felt I had enough knowledge and skill to put me on the schedule. A few weeks ago she told me that I was getting faster and better at this whole flower thing and that I wasn't far from being put on the schedule.

Last week I had family and friends visiting and so I was unable to go there all week. I returned yesterday only to find they had hired someone new! I was confused and felt betrayed. Here I was coming in to this place I love, devoting lots of time, in hopes that this would become a nice part time job. It turns out this new person has a degree in horticulture and has a year of experience at a floral shop. So, I can understand why she was hired, but I also feel like my chances of being hired are slim to none considering the owner has been downsizing and has told me flat out that she cannot afford to hire me when I first started.

Being an adult I called the owner and discussed how I was feeling. She told me she needed someone who knew all the floral terminology, who could take orders, and make/do things with no direction. She went on to tell me that she appreciates all the help I've given, said I am a joy to have around, and that I have a great artistic eye for floral design but that it would take a couple years for me to be fully knowledgeable. I told her thank you for all the help, that I would be going up North next week with a friend, and that I would be in touch with her when I returned.

I don't want to seem like a "know-it-all" as far as the floral industry goes, but I don't feel like it is rocket science. Do you know what I mean? As a creative person, it comes very naturally and I feel like maybe I should move on and see if a different flower shop would like to give me a chance?

So now I am just at a loss at what to do. Today I woke up with a sore throat so I couldn't go in. My body is telling me to rest. My heart says: go back to your artwork and things will work out in time. So I am sitting here at my desk thinking about the beautiful walk I took down at Dunbar Cave with my mom last week and how I just want to sketch and paint beautiful leaves. I am anxious to go up to northern Wisconsin with one of my friends, to take pictures, be surrounded by lakes, woods, and soak up the summer sun.

I am not too concerned about the whole flower thing. I know everything will work out just the way it is supposed to. It's just sometimes rocks are thrown into our paths and we just need to go around them or kick them out of the way.

Thank you for listening :)


  1. Kelly, you're such a brave soul for exploring this path without knowing where it might lead. I admire your strength lady.

  2. Totally know what you mean. (And I also think yes you should go ahead and give another shop a go. And listen to your heart as well. But what matters of course is what you want!) That's a shame (on the owner) with what happened but undoubtedly it will open a door to something wonderful. Thanks for taking a chance and sharing this with the world; and know that there's someone over in Ireland sending you support and good will.

  3. Wow! I hate to say it and to be so bold, but it sounds like she was just using you. If I were you, I would not go back. I would go to another flower shop. What she did was very under handed and she should have never lead you on. If it was going to take 2 years for you to gain the kind of experience she needed you to have, she should have told you that from the beginning. I am so sorry this happened to you. (and I still think you should have gotten some sort of payment for your arrangement that sold)

  4. Aw, I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to Kelly. I guess on the positive side, you found out how much you enjoy working with flowers, and the experience of working in that flower shop should let you know if that's a path you seriously want to pursue.

  5. I love to listen to you listening to your heart. I can hear it through your writing so clearly. I'm sure its a struggle but I really think it is worth it in the long run. And I would have to agree with you about the whole rocket science floral thing...i can't tell you how many bridal bouquets and boutineers I have created and I have never stepped foot in the refrigerator of a floral shop (and I don't even know how to spell boutineer). I don't say it in a arrogant way I just mean that I believe that I can do never dawned on me that I would need to know the correct terminology to say that I could do flower arranging. Im sure learning all of those things would make me much better at it but it didn't stop me from trying and actually creating beautiful wedding florals! So if you love it then keep going!!