Why Create?

playing with my paints this morning

As I mentioned before I am taking an e-class called In the Fishbowl by Marisa Haedike. It is a class that covers how to make it as an online artist plus so much more! I have been sitting with some of the questions that have been brought up in class and would like to share some of my thoughts with you all today. If you don't mind :)

One of the questions was: Why do you create?

I create because I have a strong desire to do so. So many of us lose that passion as adults. When I make something I lose track of time and I can enjoy just being in the moment. I believe that when people create they are putting pieces of their souls into the world. I like to think that the paintings I make reflect my personality and show the world how I see and define beauty. And like some of my classmates have mentioned I believe that everyone is creative in their own way and that people would be happier if they took some time out of their day to make something.

Another question that one of my classmates brought up is: What are you doing when you are at your best? and when you are at your best how do you feel?

When I am at my best I am creating, running, making conscious decisions, learning new things, not judging myself or others, and enjoying the moment for what it is. When I am at my best I am not trying to do or be something I'm not. When I'm at my best I have focus and passion for what I am doing in life. I feel free from the expectations of society. My spirit is just how it was meant be.

Those are my deep thoughts for the day and now here are some pictures of my garden. I am so excited for my sunflowers to bloom!

Bye!

calla lilies and amelia bedelia

I am officially sick. I thought I had strep throat for sure, but it turns out I have an upper respiratory infection that has settled mostly in my tonsils. Yuck. I have to take antibiotics every 6 hours. I guess sometimes our bodies tell us when we need to slow down and thats exactly what I intend to do. The only thing I have the energy to do is paint small watercolors. I am going back to the basics, just focusing on one small object at a time and appreciating it's simple complexities. I love the fluidity of watercolors and how flexible and fast they are to work with. Here is a study of some pink calla lilies. They make me feel better just looking at them. Since I am no longer going to be going into the flower shop, drawing and painting flowers has become the next best thing. Amelia Bedelia seems to enjoy them too :)

Maybe later today or tomorrow I will tell you about an e-course I am taking by Creative Thursday's Marisa Haedike . I cannot tell you how wonderful I think e-courses are. They give you the opportunity to meet so many other artists and it has been a way for me to learn so many things about myself and to discover why I love to make things. My friend Ashley over at 31 experiment had some great thoughts on why she loves to create and I recommend that you check out her super cool blog.

Have a lovely Sunday folks.

Succulents

I am really fascinated by little plants, especially succulents. I photographed this little guy while I was in Lowes a few days ago. People must think I am crazy walking around photographing plants in such a big store.

I love my watercolor paints and hadn't used them in a while. I painted this today as I am not feeling well and it is very relaxing to me. It will be for sale in my shop later today if you are interested.

5 x 7 inch watercolor with ivory matte

Now I'm off to the doctor's. I think I have strep throat, which is crazy because I haven't had strep since I was in high school! I haven't taken any kind of antibiotic in at least ten years.

Have a happy Saturday!

following a path without knowing where it's going

I feel like I have been too guarded in my blog posts lately. It's time to be real again because for me it is therapeutic. And I never want to be something I am not in this space.

So you remember a while back I had started going to a flower shop to gain experience in hopes that they would eventually hire me. I felt like I was catching on really fast and I enjoyed going there so very much! I was learning new things and I would barely notice the time going by. I have become skilled in making wedding boutonnieres, corsages, and even bouquets. In such a way that I feel like if I was to get married again I would do my own flowers. The arrangement I had set up with the owner, was that I would keep coming in and training until she felt I had enough knowledge and skill to put me on the schedule. A few weeks ago she told me that I was getting faster and better at this whole flower thing and that I wasn't far from being put on the schedule.

Last week I had family and friends visiting and so I was unable to go there all week. I returned yesterday only to find they had hired someone new! I was confused and felt betrayed. Here I was coming in to this place I love, devoting lots of time, in hopes that this would become a nice part time job. It turns out this new person has a degree in horticulture and has a year of experience at a floral shop. So, I can understand why she was hired, but I also feel like my chances of being hired are slim to none considering the owner has been downsizing and has told me flat out that she cannot afford to hire me when I first started.

Being an adult I called the owner and discussed how I was feeling. She told me she needed someone who knew all the floral terminology, who could take orders, and make/do things with no direction. She went on to tell me that she appreciates all the help I've given, said I am a joy to have around, and that I have a great artistic eye for floral design but that it would take a couple years for me to be fully knowledgeable. I told her thank you for all the help, that I would be going up North next week with a friend, and that I would be in touch with her when I returned.

I don't want to seem like a "know-it-all" as far as the floral industry goes, but I don't feel like it is rocket science. Do you know what I mean? As a creative person, it comes very naturally and I feel like maybe I should move on and see if a different flower shop would like to give me a chance?

So now I am just at a loss at what to do. Today I woke up with a sore throat so I couldn't go in. My body is telling me to rest. My heart says: go back to your artwork and things will work out in time. So I am sitting here at my desk thinking about the beautiful walk I took down at Dunbar Cave with my mom last week and how I just want to sketch and paint beautiful leaves. I am anxious to go up to northern Wisconsin with one of my friends, to take pictures, be surrounded by lakes, woods, and soak up the summer sun.

I am not too concerned about the whole flower thing. I know everything will work out just the way it is supposed to. It's just sometimes rocks are thrown into our paths and we just need to go around them or kick them out of the way.

Thank you for listening :)

i like visits

My mom, her best friend, and my best friend came to visit this past week. I feel so happy that they came to see what I've been up to, to appreciate the trees in my back yard, the garden, some new paintings. I love that they appreciate the beauty that Tennessee has to offer even though it was 95 with 100 percent humidity! I feel so fortunate to have people that want to visit. They make me wish I lived closer. Closer to the place I came from. Closer to what made me.. me. 

I love that my mom appreciates life so much. She is so young at heart and a blast to be around. As I get older I adore my mom more and more. I can see her as a person with a life rather than just as my mom. 

Seeing my friend Katie was also a treat.  Katie is one of those people you can just pick up where you left off with. She is the kind of friend you can just be exactly how you feel. We talked about how fun it would be to live close to one another some day, to raise our kids by each other (no kids on my end yet), to enjoy the truly simple things in life that we already enjoy but in closer proximity. I don't know if that will ever be a reality as jobs and life have a way of laying out the path before us, but it was fun to think about. 

I am now readjusting to my daily schedule. You know how it is after you get back from a vacation or have company over for a while? I kind of feel disconnected from myself, but not in a bad way. It's just that I feel the need to be grounded, to get my hands messy outside, to paint, to drink up the heat of the day and have it not effect me in the least, to run, to bike, and to accept what the day throws at me with open arms. 

Roxanne

Today was not a great day by any means

My car has been acting up lately. The air conditioner never feels cool enough and when it sits at a light the temperature gage starts to rise. I knew it wasn't the coolant because I checked that. So I took it into firestone today thinking they could tell me what was wrong. Bad choice. It took over three hours of me waiting for it before someone could come and tell me that they still don't know what is wrong with it. Not to mention the mall was with in walking distance so I ended up spending money due to the wait and the proximity of good shopping.  

On a better note, I dropped my car off at the GM dealer and I think they will understand my car better. Hopefully it is nothing too expensive! I will find out what the deal is tomorrow. Roxanne (my car) is ten years old now so I'm sure the wear and tear of daily drives is catching up with her. She can't remain young and spry forever I guess. 

On an even better than better note, my mom, her friend, and my best friend are coming into town this week so I have one and a half days to get my house in order. I am so excited to have some company down here. Living far away from my favorite people only makes the time I spend with them more fun and special! I can't wait! 

Sorry I don't have a picture for you of my sick car!

my favorite hangout

This is my favorite little place to hang out during the summer days. Nothing beats a front porch swing. It is perfect and shady during the first half of the day and then the sun comes over the house and it becomes very hot. It is the perfect place to drink my coffee in the morning and  eat a bowl of cereal on occasion. I see my neighbors walking their dogs, enjoying the coolness of the morning. I also see the birds fighting for worms in the front yard. The hummingbirds don't usually come to the feeder while I am out there, but every once in a while a brave one will buzz by and grab a quick drink.  In the evenings I like to sit on the swing with my husband and watch the sunset until the mosquitos become too unbearable. 

I hope summer finds you well and that you get a chance to soak up some sun. As much as I hate getting wrinkles, I do love the sun on my face and on my shoulder (it makes me happy).